How do You Show Love?
My life is really hard you guys, my wife and I have two golden retrievers and one of them, Sophie, aka Lil Stink, absolutely loves me. I know she loves me because she licks me… a lot. This means one of two things, I either taste good all of the time (potentially true, but probably not) or she just really likes her Dad. We would all be so lucky to have someone in our lives love you as unconditionally as Sophie does me, but I have to be honest: she drives me nuts sometimes! I can’t tie my shoes, type on my laptop, use the restroom, or breath with out her incessantly licking me. Again, I live a hard life. #strugglebus.
Here’s the thing, though: it is awesome that Sophie loves me. My issue is that the way she shows her love to me, I find annoying and off-putting. In fact, some days I could go without her showing me that she loves me. And, that is just sad because all adorable little Sophie wants is show me how much she loves me and licking me is how she expresses it.So my question to you is: how do you show your organization’s members, co-workers, etc. that you love and appreciate them? We all show love differently; and, we all like to be shown love differently, too. Some people would rather be told they did a good job over getting a hug. Others might not feel special because you bought them a gift, they would have rather you spent time with them and just talked. In order to find out how they like to be appreciated, ask! Don’t assume that you know the best way to make someone feel validated.A very simple thing you can do is have everyone on your team take Gary Chapman’s free and quick “5 Love Languages” test at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/. Chapman breaks down the way we give and show into five categories: quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. After your team takes it, share with one another and make a note of how each person you are working with likes to be shown love so, when the time is right, you can truly make them feel appreciated. (Note: if physical touch is their number one, you might also want to write down their second choice…no need to make it awkward.) On that note, I am going to go tell Sophie the results of my Love Languages test.
Here’s the thing, though: it is awesome that Sophie loves me. My issue is that the way she shows her love to me, I find annoying and off-putting. In fact, some days I could go without her showing me that she loves me. And, that is just sad because all adorable little Sophie wants is show me how much she loves me and licking me is how she expresses it.So my question to you is: how do you show your organization’s members, co-workers, etc. that you love and appreciate them? We all show love differently; and, we all like to be shown love differently, too. Some people would rather be told they did a good job over getting a hug. Others might not feel special because you bought them a gift, they would have rather you spent time with them and just talked. In order to find out how they like to be appreciated, ask! Don’t assume that you know the best way to make someone feel validated.A very simple thing you can do is have everyone on your team take Gary Chapman’s free and quick “5 Love Languages” test at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/. Chapman breaks down the way we give and show into five categories: quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. After your team takes it, share with one another and make a note of how each person you are working with likes to be shown love so, when the time is right, you can truly make them feel appreciated. (Note: if physical touch is their number one, you might also want to write down their second choice…no need to make it awkward.) On that note, I am going to go tell Sophie the results of my Love Languages test.-James Robilotta